Please make sure all fields are filled out. a study and testimony site about marriage, divorce and remarriage. But the faithfulness of God is a mountain, remaining intact even if my marriage doesnt. When you're being pulled simultaneously in two directions toward God by the Holy Spirit and away from Him by your spouse it's important to remember where your priorities should lie. Candice Watters is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen, and co-author with her husband, Steve, of Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies. It looks to me that he wants to be with us, but something is holding him back to commit. Peter also addresses your situation, encouraging you that you can win your husband to Christ without even speaking a word. Romans 8:28 ESV / 3 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Whether my marriage endures or not, Christ will come, and his church will rise. In light of this passage and all the Bible has to teach on marriage, I believe every Christian who is married to a nonbeliever should do four specific things. Dont let the mistakes of others serve as a justification for repeating them. I was saved on April 1, 1980. God has taken me on a big journey of faith and showed me many times through many different prophecies that he will save my husband and our family will be reconcilled and even serve him, which is my hearts desire, but I know that God does not advocate abuse and especially in the same house as children. With a user-friendly interface and easy navigation, the user decreases search time and increases satisfaction, fulfilling his needs in a fast and efficient way. But I get sad because Ive come to realize that Im unable to have children the other day he made an agreement with me that he would go to church and I was so excited to hear that but he had worked the night before and was to tired to wake up in the morning. Let the Lord work on him and he will show you and give you confirmation in your spirit whether to let him back in or not. At 26, he had a surgery that made having babies not an option. Clarifying My Superpower In that first year of marriage, I cried to God: I can't do this! He's just quiet and just does his way, no matter what I say or feel. Please advise me on the right way to live under these circumstances. Indeed, I would say that a man or a woman who stays in such a marriage can say to an unbelieving spouse these words: "My reawakened love for Jesus, and my treasuring Christ above you as my Lord and Savior, and my desire to be a part of Christ's people again, and my regret over my sin in marrying an unbeliever, does not mean I have stopped loving The words I sensed in the depths of my soul that day shook me: You remain faithful. Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen, Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies, Promise Rings and Purity Talks Arent Enough, Tips for Planning a Wedding and Staying Sane, 5 Things You Can Do Now to Prepare for Marriage. But when 30 hit, let's just say God and I were in a fight. Am I living for my own kingdom or for Gods? (A note to unmarried readers: If youre concerned you may be prone to make the same or similar mistakes in your own dating and relationship decisions, you may want to read What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?). I would encourage you to keep praying daily for him both in your quiet time as well as in agreement with other mature believers (keeping in mind that prayer for him should not be confused with gossiping about him). He thinks that money defines himself. 4:2). Even an unequally yoked marriage. If a visitor arrives at your site and can't easily find what they're looking for, they're simply going to leave and look for that information elsewhere. To be "yoked together" is to work together while moving in the same direction at the same rate of speed. She serves on staff at Valley Life Church as the kids ministry director. Are you absolutely sure you wont regret committing yourself until death to someone who might never help you see or love Jesus more? Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. But what about couples who are already in . In my heart, I knew he was truly not. Believe me, there are many. We are soon alone in little dark. Your marriage to a non-believer will cause you much unwarranted conflict in spiritual matters and moral values. In that first year of marriage, I cried to God: I cant do this! Because marriage is part of God's sovereign plan, a follower of Jesus desires a relationship which thrives, not just a relationship which survives. He loved a certain card game, so she became an expert player. Finally, even if your husband never comes to know Christ personally, you can trust Gods sovereignty to ultimately redeem your situation; to bring beauty from ashes. The faithfulness of God is a mountain, remaining intact even if my marriage doesnt. And when done properly, our new acquaintances open their lives . Live in peace and joy knowing that he loves you and will work it out. Not long after that, Dan entered a bout of deep depression, which has affected his views on Louisas faith. Affiliate disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases on Amazon.com. Marriage is a sacred covenant that joins two people together in one flesh ( Matthew 19:5 ). What a mess guys! John and I had been married for 6 years already. You can unsubscribe in one click, and we will never share your email address. He however does address the believer and their . I have read many testimonies of restored marriages where it seems the emotional abuse still takes place and it really upsets me. Having all the right answers didnt save me, and it wont save my husband. With all of the busyness and temptations that this world throws at us, it is so hard for men (and women!) And asked how you can support them? And in my marriage to an unbeliever, another level of outsider was added. My wife began dating me as an unbeliever. Have you ever sat down and asked a friend what its like the good and the bad? After her third child, her depression worsened so badly that she was hospitalised and entered three years of pure hell. Many times we cling to our husband because we cant face the rejection. God may even redeem the situation in a surprising way for his glory if it is handled well. We are back together again and have a 2 year old daughter. I speak at length about the cost of change in my book, Nine Critical Mistakes Most Couples Make, and what it takes to change a troubled marriage. Pastorally, churches havent always supported or helped people in this situation, says Sarah Condie, who not only runs a highly regarded marriage enrichment course with her husband, Keith, but is also co-director of the Mental Health and Pastoral Care Institute and is director of wellbeing and care at Church by the Bridge in Kirribilli. Both are powerful testimonies to your husband of your faith. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." May you be eventually see the benefits. All rights reserved. Hes been very much in touch with me and kids financially, 2 events. Do I really believe Jesus is risen from the dead? My eyes were not always on God, I rebelled and turned away from God to live for myself. I was in trauma, suicidal it was just really hard not to kill myself, she says. I dont always shut my mouth but, when I do, I reckon its because of Gods grace to me. Answer. Men looking for a woman - Women looking for a woman. I am determined not to divorce, and Im reluctant to reverse our decision (and surgery) about not having children since the reason I decided not to still remains: Im too afraid to raise a child without a Christian husband. We are showing our children how to love and be loved and by permitting abuse we are saying to them that is ok. Please advise me on the right way to live under these circumstances that Ive created for myself. What was scheduled as an hour-long chapel service last Wednesday has turned into a multi-day revival at Asbury University. All of our resources exist to guide you toward everlasting joy in Jesus Christ. Will I be sinning? Even then, you must make clear to him that a future with you is not promised. I know in my heart I am not willing to give up my church family of 14 years, so that my male companion can find a church home because I shared things regarding my church which is called gossip. First, you seem stuck on the notion that you married an unbeliever. Im not wrestling against my husband. And not always did both spouses become believers. I don't want to consider divorce (I know God hates divorce). The results were detrimental and I was very unhappy in a very emotionally abusive relationship. The Folly of Being "Unequally Yoked" Christianity is not a "religion" like any other that one can "choose" or "decline." Seven times in the book of Hebrews, the author captures the heart of Christianity in a simple, wonderful command: draw near. While their love for each other and for Jesus was deep and sincere, this was the beginning of an incredibly trying time. For a Christian to enter into marriage with an unbeliever, therefore, is not only an act of disobedience against their Lord; it is also foolish. If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. The Gospel Coalition supports the church by providing resources that are trusted and timely, winsome and wise, and centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ. 13 responses to Unbelieving Spouse Testimonies. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Furthermore, the difficult path to my own conversion and then to our wedding ceremony is not one I would wish upon others. After clicking on Contact Us then writing it out for us there. Should Christian Parents Send Their Children to Public Schools? This is a life testimony, thank God. Few of us want to hear the therapist label what were doing wrong, and what must be done to repair the marriage. Even if what you really want to do is work away. Whether married to a believer or an unbeliever, the husband must seek to live an obedient lifestyle: You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered (1 Pet 3:7). He is everything that I want in a man, except being saved :(. 1 Corinthians 7:14 - " For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. He treats me like a queen. Heis the author of over 18 books, includingLove Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage, Saying It So He'll Listen, and When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You. Ten years ago, as a young girl raised with strong Christian parents and about to graduate from a Christian high school, I would have never believed that I would be where I am today. God showed me that I had once gone after my husband before, in an attempt to share the gospel with him and bring him to Jesus and I ended up married to an unbeliever. Ive been praying for his salvation and he also has a son from a previous relationship which kind of makes me emotional because he loves his son so dearly and gets so happy when he talks about him. Paul tells the believers in Corinth who are married to non-believers that. Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family? Hes been able to live in his self-centered world with little regard for your needs and feelings. I love the lord. God can do great things when you surrender it all and lay everything at his altar. Youve admittedly made some mistakes. He has finally decided to go for rehab and therapy but he is still using. On top of knowing that we were pretty much breaking up at that moment, I had the extra weight of . Im proud of you for doing what you believe God would have you, even though it is painful. What Ive learned from all this is not to even dip your foot in the water with a non Christian man! I expect that, if youre honest, you may have your own reservations about the upcoming ceremony. I met a guyand he is everything I imagined myself wanting in a man. Remember your spouses are being attacked by the enemy. God has changed my heart. Worse than attending church alone your entire life, while your husband remained at home, is the haunting thought that the man you gave yourself to might spend eternity separated from you and God. Our minds are the biggest obstacle we have to overcome. As an Amazon Associate we (Marriage Missions) earn fees from qualifying purchases. The following are "Real Life" unbelieving spouse testimonies we have gathered for those who are married to someone who doesn't live for the Lord. Paul urged the Corinthian believers to let those who have wives live as though they had none (1 Cor. 3 Main Consequences of Marrying an Unbeliever. I believe that God wants to bind up the broken hearted and heal women who have been in abusive marriages not throw them back into the frying pan befre they themselves have drawn near to the Father for healing. By the wife; literally, in the wife.The bond is still holy; its holiness rests in the believing wife or husband. Please before accepting abuse consider, am I suffering because I cant let go or am I suffering because Jesus has asked me too? . I know God has allowed this to happen to draw me closer to him. My greatest concern is that your fianc does not know or love Christ. Your husband would be quite an exception if he really wanted to change. I thought that with my love, he would change. Understanding firsthand the experience of being overlooked and feeling powerless likewise gives the woman a unique sense of empathy with the vulnerable. It wont be a given.. Until you say, I do, it is not too late to wait. (NIGERIA) I can imagine your hurt and pain but PLEASE, I am sure this is a way the Lord is using to bring back your home. But they believe that, contrary to expectation, they actually have a stronger marriage because of their experience. That is all I am asking. And as the Lord gives me strength to love like him, Ill keep walking with my husband, praying hell rise with me on that day too. After 21 years he walked away and is having an affair that he still denies to a wicked woman that at one time I called my best friend. DavidHawkins, Ph.D.,has worked with couples and families to improve the quality of their lives by resolving personal issues for the last 30 years. He goes through periods, she says, when he is not bothered by it, but then he is suddenly very antagonistic. Both mention that there is not a lot of support for couples like them, and churches dont know how to treat them. I needed to listen to her find out what she was feeling, where she was at. 5:25), I employed the teachings about submission I learned as a girl. I want to address them in hope that you might experience grace to trust God and his word regarding marriage. He had told my childhood church he believed Christ died for his sins, and he was baptized. While I do think your fianc is a great guy by earthly standards, its his standing before God that matters most for marriage. I want to encourage anyone who is waiting for a marriage to be restored that God can make all things new and is our healer. unequally marriage has married i an unbeliever. She adds: I would like to say Im sorry, and I acknowledge that failure. 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i married an unbeliever testimony